Ian's Blog:

Stories, experiences, and insights from my schizophrenia

How I Experience Ambivalence and Social Withdrawal

Today I'll be talking about more negative symptoms. In particular, apathy or ambivalence. This certainly goes hand in hand with the lack of drive negative symptom I spoke about in a previous post. I'm not sure how I feel about the symptom. On one hand, it makes me sort of insufferabl...

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How I Experience Excessive Agitation

The positive symptom I'll be talking about in this post is agitation or irritability. I could be wrong, but I feel like agitation is a symptom of all the other symptoms. Sort of like how an animal in pain can be much more hostile than usual. If you're continually experiencing unpleasantness th...

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How I Experience Motivation Deficiency

Preface: For context, this post was written in the summer of 2015. Since writing this post, I have found ways of more effectively managing the challenges described. Today I'll talk about one of the negative symptoms that have been a huge problem for me, a symptom that, like my delusi...

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Debunking the "Mental" in Mental Health

Today I would like to talk about the stigma around mental health and why, if there aren't more vocal people like me regarding these things, people will continue to be ignorant and perpetuate toxic attitudes and opinions towards people with mental illness. I'll start with what I beli...

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How I Experience Thought Disorders

In this post, I continue talking about positive symptoms, in particular, thought disorders. These include things like making loose associations, trouble organizing thoughts or connecting them logically, garbled speech, something called "thought blocking" (which I will describe shortly), and ma...

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How I Experience Delusions

Delusions are also a 'positive symptom' and, like hallucinations can be very disruptive to a schizophrenic person's life. A delusion is defined as "an idiosyncratic belief or impression that is firmly maintained despite being contradicted by what is generally accepted as reality or rational ar...

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A Brief Introduction to "How I Experience ..."

A couple years ago, I took some time writing about how my psychotic symptoms affect me. In the next few days, I will be posting them seeing as they don’t serve much use sitting on my computer untouched. This post is to give you a brief context of what schizophrenia is and what categories they...

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How I Experience Hallucinations

Hallucinations are hearing, seeing, tasting, feeling and smelling things that aren't actually there. Out of all hallucinations that exist, the most prevalent symptom is hearing voices. When I hear voices, I generally hear them as a cacophony of whispers. Occasionally, a loud voice will shout a...

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Four Reasons Schizophrenic Men Should Be Bodybuilders

I’m a 31-year-old schizophrenic male and in the last four years, I’ve become incredibly high functioning. It started with a change in medication, then a low carbohydrate diet, and evolved into exercising, and, to a degree, bodybuilding. Bodybuilders typically adhere to a high fat, low carbohyd...

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