I'd like to flip an old saying on its head and say: Better to open your mouth and admit your foolishness than to stay silent and prove you're a fool. Okay, maybe it doesn't quite line up, but you get the idea. This recognition I'm about to share has helped me both in my schizophrenia management as well as my efforts in my personal and business life.
Over the past year, I've begun to realize that all too often, I have fallen victim to the sunk cost fallacy when it comes to my thoughts. Ways of thinking that can and will waste time, energy, stress, and so many other precious resources, depending on the situation. This post is the first of three posts that are a story for each of my blog topics (schizophrenia, professional, personal) relating to this realization.
One rainy evening, I was scheduled for an after-hours meeting with someone. A few minutes before the meeting began, I had a voice in my head tell me the person I was meeting was going to kill me. This voice fed my delusional brain, and in the moments leading up to the meeting, I was rationalizing away thoughts of the worst.
Then, the person I was meeting came to the building where we shared an office. He was getting back from a conference and was lugging back a suitcase into the storage room filled with equipment. The thing was, this suitcase was large enough to fit a human body; it could comfortably fit someone my size. This coincidence sent my brain into hyperdrive.
The sunk cost was that I was already feeling the panic, I was already dealing with how crazy my thoughts were and how a comically timed coincidence fed into my delusions. I thought that like always, I would have to silently deal with it because that's what I always did.
But I did something different this time. I knew my delusion was far-fetched, and I knew it was absolutely hilarious that the suitcase he brought in fed into that delusion. I decided to share my delusions with him, and we had a good laugh over it. It almost entirely relieved all of my personal tensions and ended up making a great story to tell others.
Header/thumbnail photo by:Isai Ramos